i wanted to write about love and money and all that jazz. but right now im feeling too damn good for any of that. chances are, i will wake up in the morning feeling like crap again, but i'll deal with that tommorow.

its 4am and i'm far from finishing my paper. i should stay up but im going to bed because i dont want to squander this feeling away on instant coffee and chapped hands from smoking in the cold outside.

i feel like a million bucks. you would know :)

gwen stefani - what u waiting for (jacques lu cont's twd mix)

i am a freak for romance and i love romantic movies. my favorite ones during this time of the year are bing crosby's white christmas, and more recently last year's love, actually. have i mentioned how much i dig romance?

at any rate, there is this part in the storyline about keira knightly and a boy who's loved her all this while and even when his best friend had married her, he never stopped loving her. she thought he really hated her because he always seemed annoyed, but really it was just his coping mechanism. he didnt want to let on how he really felt. one night (i think it was christmas eve proper) he shows up at her door step with placards that say the things he's always meant to say but never had the nerve to.

(you gotta love "TO ME YOU ARE PERFECT")

we've all seen the movie im sure. he leaves, she runs after him. they kiss, brief but hard, and right then he decides it had gotten too far. that's enough, he says.

i dont mean to be facetious, but i think that scene singularly represented what it meant to be in love. its idealistic and a little OTT, but you have to love a boy for trying.

fall out boy - nobody puts baby in the corner

so its true. i move but i hardly get anywhere.

november 29, 2003
i'll be fine and it'll all be great. i'll see you, and maybe i won't. but either way i think i'll do just okay. everyone has been right on this one. it took a little longer than i expected, but i think i can finally let go..."

blah blah blah blah blah.

29.11.04, same old, same old.
i dont know if this means im a sucker for the type of drama that can rival days of our lives, or that im just a stupid hedonist who doesnt get what its all about. i dont even want to decide which is worse.

that said, i am hopeful (million dollar word for all novembers to come, seeing as how the past four novermbers have sucked) that next year will be different. surely, i will look back at today amused and certainly, this same impatient heart will be nursing a similar heartache. but such is life.



i can't stand to think about
A heart so big it hurts like hell
Oh my God I gave my best
But for three whole years to end like this

the format - the first single (you know me)